


So Much More

by i_am_a_hog



Series: Jesus Christ Superstar [42]
Category: Jesus Christ Superstar - All Media Types
Genre: Friends to Lovers, From Sex to Love, HELLO I LOVE OLA SALO, I don't know how my brain works but this is actually kinda nice so i ain't complaining, I read tatort münster fic and was like hmmmm i wanna write something and came up with this, I suppose, I'm running out of titles skdjfbskj, M/M, can I just hand this in instead of my portfolio paper hmm, fuck I think there are about 5 times too many commas in this kjsbfskdjb, projecting onto judas for a change, there's so much tenderness in this, uh, umh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 07:41:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20093707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_am_a_hog/pseuds/i_am_a_hog
Summary: Jesus was close now, so close, and their eyes were no longer meeting. Judas looked at Jesus’ lips, soft, inviting, and then he closed his eyes, unmoving.





	So Much More

**Author's Note:**

> YEEEET
> 
> After all my recent detours, I'm still at heart a Jesus fucker!! <3
> 
> barely read-through so have merceyy

Judas’ lips on Jesus’ chest, harsh breaths and soft moans. He kissed along the elegant neck, Jesus’ head tilted for better access, and Judas worshipped every inch of skin, kissed, licked, bit at the exact points, he knew Jesus would react just like he wanted.

His hands were roaming Judas’ skin, running over his back, frantically, looking for something to hold on to, then buried into Judas’ hair.

Jesus was bucking up against Judas’ hip, desperate for contact, moans and choked up pleas escaped his lips, while Judas’ tongue circled around a nipple.

Jesus was almost writhing underneath him, unable to stay still, until Judas stopped. He looked up, looked into Jesus’ brilliant dark eyes, before he averted his own; it was too easy to get lost. He brought his hands up to the sides of Jesus’ face, felt the movements of harsh breathing, the stillness and slight tremors of tensed muscles underneath his fingertips, and he knew, Jesus was still staring at him.

His lips were slightly parted; an invitation. But when Judas leaned in, he merely kissed the corner of these lips. Jesus let out a frustrated noise, but Judas ignored it, began to kiss Jesus’ neck once more, up to his jaw, pulling out all the stops, while his hands wandered down, lower, until the noises Jesus was making lost the tang of frustration and crossed over into full euphoria.

Afterwards, Judas forced a smile onto his face. Jesus’ thumb caressed his cheek; this could be the end of Judas’ worries, the answer to all his prayers, but he did not dare hope that Jesus really wanted this.

Them.

Some form of intimacy, that was more than sex.

Sex was fine; their sex was great, unparalleled even, but it was still only sex and Judas’ poor, misguided heart yearned for unfathomably more.

The kind of more, that included lingering glances and lingering touches, entangled fingers and soft kisses on the back of a hand – or a palm; it included a gentle thumb caressing his cheek, and words Judas would never grow tired of hearing. It was hard to have it all so close; the person he wanted most, with him completely, so freely, and yet too far away to ever meet Judas’ needs.

It was outrageous, really, to want or even expect that kind of affection from Jesus, when he was already giving more than Judas could imagine, on a daily basis. Jesus cared for people and Judas felt extremely selfish to demand more of that for himself.

Abruptly, he shook his head and freed himself from Jesus’ embrace. He barely looked at him, before he turned around and got dressed.

“Judas?” Jesus asked. His voice was soft and it cut so deeply into Judas’ soul, that he flinched, as if in physical pain.

“Hmm,” he muttered, trying to distance himself, if only to retain some semblance of sanity.

“Are you alright?” The genuine concern in these words, did not make the situation any better.

“Of course,” Judas replied, but he knew that his voice sounded hollow and empty. Insincere.

Jesus remained quiet until Judas turned to leave. Their eyes met for only the briefest of moments, and Judas should have known right there and then, that he could not hide from Jesus.

But he turned away again and got up, willing his legs to move.

The hand at his wrist was firm, strong fingers he was too familiar with.

“No,” Jesus said. “You’re not.”

Judas didn’t turn back to him; he didn’t dare look for what he might find in those eyes.

“I’m not going to let you wander off into the night without knowing. Because you’re bursting with it, with something you think me unworthy of knowing. When did I ever give you the impression that I would not listen? Or care?”

Judas exhaled slowly. He couldn’t answer this question, but he let himself give in to the touch and sat back down at the bedside. He still didn’t look at Jesus, who was slowly letting go off his wrist, taking Judas’ hand between his own hands, entwining their fingers, caressing every inch of skin he could reach.

Dimly, Judas noticed the warmth pooling in his chest, a sense of hope he should not be having.

“Is it me?” Judas clenched his teeth, remained quiet and Jesus asked again. “Is it me, Judas?”

He shook his head, a jerked motion, inelegant and overly emotional.

Jesus moved behind him, but when his chin nudged at Judas’ shoulder and he felt hot breaths against his cheek, he still flinched.

Jesus wrapped his arms around Judas’ middle, pulled him against his chest.

“You do this often?”

Judas had not meant to ask, but the words left his lips before he could stop himself.

“What?”

“This. Like… like with me.”

“I’ve slept with other people before,” Jesus offered, but that wasn’t what Judas was asking. The sentence sent a hot spike of jealousy through Judas’ heart.

“No,” he said vehemently. “Not that.”

Now, it was Jesus who stayed silent. His arms were still around Judas, his breath still hot against his cheek, but he was waiting.

“Maybe that,” Judas admitted. He felt Jesus’ nose at the back of his neck, felt the tickle of his beard before he felt the gentle press of lips against his skin. His heartbeat sped up at once, breath hitching; Judas’ throat nearly closed up from held-back emotion, but he still pressed out his words.

“What if you get bored? It’s just… just sex. What happens to me when you move on?”

Jesus stopped, he was completely still for several moments and Judas was afraid, he had said the wrong thing. Then, Jesus quietly spoke.

“You think this is only sex?”

Judas concentrated on his breathing.

“It’s not. I care about you, I need you near me, I want you, I…” he drifted off.

Judas turned and looked at Jesus; his eyes were sincere, full of affection, full of concern.

“Oh,” he breathed out. “I… Why do you never show it?” His voice was breaking and he looked away again, but one of Jesus’ hands came up against his cheek.

“I thought you knew.”

Judas shook his head. Jesus was close now, so close, and their eyes were no longer meeting. Judas looked at Jesus’ lips, soft, inviting, and then he closed his eyes, unmoving.

Jesus leaned in, their noses brushed against one another, Judas felt the beard against his skin, then Jesus’ lips against the corner of his mouth. This time it was him, who made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. One more kiss at the other side, then nothing, just their breaths, just the sounds of nervous hearts pounding and Judas wanted to look at Jesus, wanted to see what he was thinking, wanted to sink into the deep brown of his eyes and never emerge, but he didn’t.

One second, one eternity later, Jesus’ lips met his. Judas let out a whimper when Jesus licked at his upper lip, buried his hands in Jesus’ hair and kissed him back with all the frustration, adoration, and devotion he could muster.

They parted eventually; a minute later, or a year. Judas let his hands run down Jesus’ still naked chest, that was heaving with breaths, he felt against his lips.

“Oh, Judas,” Jesus whispered and in those two words, Judas heard everything he needed to know. When their lips met again, Judas smiled into the kiss and Jesus pulled him even closer.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!  
Blease, kudos and comments <3<3


End file.
